The Upside of Shame by Vernon C. Kelly

Author:Vernon C. Kelly
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3, mobi
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

Shame is a negative experience of the self; it is an “implosion” or a momentary “destruction” of the self in acute self-denigration. Narcissism is a positive experience of the self; it is the state of loving or admiring oneself. Narcissism is . . . a defense against the hatred of the self in shame. (1987, pp. 95–96)

She also speculated that shame and guilt in the therapeutic situation have been inaccurately misnamed resistance (Lewis, 1987. In contrast, we view shame as a negative affect that leads one to negatively experience the self, and thus narcissistic pathology is a defense against shame.

Prominent theories of narcissistic personality disorder diverge in terms of the development of the grandiose self of the narcissist. Self psychologists (cf. Kohut, 1971 conceptualize the grandiose self as part of normal development that may result in an early fixation. In contrast, object relations theory emphasizes grandiosity as a defensive phenomenon against underlying anxieties resulting from a lack of integration of the self (cf. Kernberg, 1975, 2016). If these conceptualizations were informed by affect theory and script theory shame and the development of shame scripts would play a significant role in the development of the grandiose self in either framework.

Diverging from psychoanalytic approaches, CBT posits that personality disorders develop from negative core beliefs—cognitions—having to do with helplessness, the sense of oneself, comparisons with others, or unlovability (Beck, 2016). In this view, genetic predispositions or negative experiences lead the child to develop negative beliefs about the self, the world, or others. Thus, the child has experiences and puts meaning to these experiences and develops negative core beliefs and behavioral strategies that allow him or her to cope in the world. From a cognitive-behavioral perspective, shame is secondary to the cognitions that create beliefs. In treatment, the clinician will identify beliefs and bring up affects, including shame, only when they lead patients to question who they are (Beck, 2016).

The cognitive-behavioral approach to the treatment of narcissistic pathology emphasizes the role of cognition as primary and affect as secondary. In contrast, we view affect and cognition as a process, arising together, and in this way they represent the foundation of human motivation. Moreover, in neuroscience literature, the role of affect in motivating behavior has been recognized as a primary rather than as a secondary source, in contrast to how it has been conceptualized for several decades. In his elaborate review of research concerning the hemispheric functions of the brain, for example, Iain McGilchrist (2009) refers to the “primacy of affect,” offering evidence that affective judgment motivates cognitive process. In our disposition toward the world, according to McGilchrist, the contribution of the left hemisphere—our cognitive assessment of the parts—is influenced by our affective judgment and our sense of the whole, much of the time without being aware of that fact.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.